whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
