My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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