you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize