Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
