So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize