im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
