I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
