He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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