my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
