Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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