Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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