There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
