you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
