I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
