Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
