Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
