sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
