I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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