You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
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