He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
