Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
