i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
