i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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