I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
