I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just gargled with NyQuil
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
