absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
