i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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