Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
