Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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