My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
