idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
