So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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