No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize