I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
