Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
