also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
