she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
