why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize