out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
