she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
