I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
