You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
