You really coming over, don't trick.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
