This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
