you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
