Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
