Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
