Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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