Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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