so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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