new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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