5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
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