There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
