at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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