dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
