I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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