Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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