"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
