It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
