I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
